Shalini, the girl of his dreams

He softly murmured to himself, "She is still beautiful" and quickly bit his tongue for he didnt want her to know that he was there. He stood there watching her run around the room, barefoot. She lifted her saree a little bit as she sat on the corner of the bed, His gaze fell upon her ankle and he was suddenly dissapointed. No, it wasnt there. She had promised him that she would never take that anklet out. He had stolen money from his mother's purse and had bought a thin silver anklet for her. And she had loved it. But it was no longer there. Now he was feeling guilty. He shouldn't have come. Maybe she doesn't love him anymore. Maybe she has even forgotten him. Maybe he would frighten her if he came out. So he decided to remain in hiding. But he knew that the thin curtain wouldn't be able to keep him hidden for long. He had to find some other place to hide without grabbing her attention. He glanced at her from behind the curtain. Though he couldn't clearly see what she was doing but he could see her curvy back resting on the bed. She had grown into a fine woman, he realised. How much he wanted to hold her. How much he wanted to take her in his arms. How much he wanted to kiss her pink lips. The taste of the lipstick she wore 13 years back still lingered in his mouth. He had to control his impulse. Or else his life would be ruined.

*************

"Shalu, will you marry me?", Anand asked. He looked very serious. He did not have money to buy a ring for her, so he thought he would just ask her. He had fallen head over heals in love with her. She was HIS Shalini. Only his. He noticed the silence which had suddenly come in between.

He asked her again, "Tell me..."

She smiled. "Ofcourse I will marry you." And she giggled.

He was happy. He hugged her tight. And he kissed her hard. He knew that he was still 15 years old and she was 14. But he had fallen in love with her the day her family moved into that big house near the river. Her father was rich. And she always wore good clothes. Even her lipstick tasted so sweet. He could never match her standards. He knew that. But he couldn't control his love for her.

"Take out your sandals and put your feet here", he pointed to the small rock in front of her.

She obediently did that. And he took out the silver anklet and slid it over the soft skin on her ankles. He saw the glea in her eyes. He knew that she had loved it.

"I will always wear it. No matter where you are, this gift will always remind me of you", she said with tears in her eyes.

And he hugged her. For five minutes both of them fell silent. And then she asked, "Where did you get the money from?"

"Maa gave it to me"

*************

He had lied then. But only because he had loved her, That was the first gift he had bought for her. And then the gifts continued. And the money never came through him. He looked at her. She was no longer on the bed. He had been lost in his thoughts for too long. The teak wood dressing table next to the bed had a huge oval mirror above it and she stood there watching herself.

He wanted to dash towards her. He really felt the urge. But what would he say. How could he prove his love when he was guilty of the crime he committed 13 years ago. Her father had handed him over to the police. He had been caught stealing that gold necklace which belonged to her grandmother. He wanted to sell it and buy gifts for his Shalini. But he was caught. And today, after spending 13 years in the jail, he was finally a free man. He came straight to her house. He wanted to see her. 13 years he had spent away from her. And today she was standing right in front of his eyes.

"Mansi", a female voice called out. Standing at the door of the room was a women with a big red mark on her forehead and a baby in her arms. "Mansi, I am back". And she rushed towards the dressing table.

He was confused. Mansi turned away from the mirror and opened her arms to greet the woman.

She looked at the baby in that woman's arms and exclaimed, "Look at him. Sound asleep in his mothers arms." She smiled and looked at the woman with the baby, "I am so glad that you came, Shalini"

Can I get them back

At the break of the dawn

Sitting on the bench in the park

Your arms wrapped around me

We watched the sun go up

And the flowers bloom in the lovely spring
The moments that we spent together
Can I get them back

In the scorching heat

I saw you standing in the middle of the road

Licking the melted ice cream like a kid

And I couldnt help but smile

At your innocence that dripped from your face

The moments that we spent together

Can I get them back

Those rains that we saw together

The puddles that we jumped in

That dancing in the rain

That smile that crossed my lips

That laugh that we shared

The moments that we spent together

Can I get them back

In those cold winter nights

When we cuddled together

And sipped hot coffee

All that kept us warm

And we made it through the night

The moments that we spent together

Can I get them back

Then came the sping yet again

We again sat on the bench in the park

This time watching the sun go down

And we spent the night under the dark sky

Only that we did not know

That the absence of stars that night

Would take everything away from our lives.

The years that went by,

The seasons that went by,

All have made me learn to live without you,

But they have still left those sweet somethings

In my mind and my soul

The moments that we spent together

Can I still get them back

Is there someone

Is there someone

whom you want to talk to

about something that has been bothering you

Is there someone

who is waiting for your call

and you know your call would bring a smile on their faces

Is there someone

whom you have hurt

and a simple sorry would ease out their pain

Is there someone

who is looking upto you

for support, for love, for care

Is there someone

waiting for you

to say that you love her

Is there someone

who spends sleepless nights

crying for your love

Is there someone

who expects you to apologize

for mistakes that you made

Is there someone

who wants to clear out things with you

Yes, pick up the phone and call her

tell her that you love her

Pick up the phone and tell him

that you never meant to hurt him

Tell her that things wouldn't be the same without her

Tell her that she has made your life beautiful

Tell her that you are coming to meet her

Tell her to look into your eyes

And let them do the talking

Tell him that you missed him

Tell him that your days aren't complete without him

Tell him that you are coming to meet him

Tell him to look into your eyes

And let them do the talking

Few hours are all that we have got

Few hours before the new year begins

Speak up before its too late

Talk for once and be happy for forever

Dont take any regrets in the new year

Start afresh, start anew

Wish you all a very happy new year.

Come what may

I turned around and looked back
I saw you holding my hand
Taking me out of the hole that was black

Now with open eyes
I see you holding my hand
Your touch makes my blood rise

The future which I can't see
I wish that you would hold my hand
And that, my darling, is no sin

There was a time when I was scared to hold your hand
Scared of what people might say
But you took my hand and gave me the strength to fight back

Now, I am all yours
This is the moment that I wish would last
Your love is what I need

But God has everything planned for us
I don't know what the future beholds
But yes, all these days I did pray to the almighty
To let you be with me
'coz not a moment goes by
without your thoughts crossing my mind
So honey don't ever leave me
not because I love you so much
but because I know you love me too.

Lust

Ding Dong

He was too lazy to get up. He just wanted to be alone. An interference from somebody unknown was the last thing he wished for. All that he wanted was to shut himself and spend time with his own self.

Ding Dong. The doorbell which went for the second time, finally made him rise from the couch potato that he had lately become. Reluctantly he walked towards the door and opened it. And before he could realize what was going on, he was thrown back. Failing to keep his balance, he fell with a thud with his back hitting the expensive Italian marble which his mom had chosen with great detail.. 

Caught unaware, he tried to concentrate. His eyes grew wider. He could not believe this was happening. It had to be a dream. It was so unreal to be true. But the wetness that he felt on his lips woke him up from his slumber. It was definitely true. She was here kissing him madly. And suddenly he realized that his mouth was open with shock. He had not even kissed her back. But he had to admit that it felt great to be kissed again. 2 months had passed since they had even talked to each other. He loved her. And he was happy to see her again. Tears took the better of him. They wouldn't stay behind that heavy heart. They just flowed.

"Your lips taste salty", she said and winked. "Eating a lot of salt these days, huh?", she asked jokingly. And she licked his tears off.

He laughed. He wanted to ask her a million questions about where had she gone. What had got into her head? Why had she left him alone? And more importantly, why had she come back? But this was not the time to ask her. These questions could wait. The only thing which couldn't wait was his thing that got hard with her touch. The kiss made him hungry. Hungry for his own Urvashi. The girl whom he loved.

He took her face in his hands and bit her lips. She moaned and he bit even harder. She let out a scream and he licked her. He kissed her like it was his first time. She let his tongue slip into her mouth. He ran it all over her teeth. He was ready to become her toothbrush that day.

His one hand started moving down. And before she knew it, he cupped her boobs and started caressing them. How much had he missed her boobs. He remembered how he used to keep his hand on her two assets while she slept beside him. He had really missed her body just as much as he had missed her. But now he had to concentrate on her since he was doing it after 2 months. 2 full months complete. He unbuttoned her shirt. He had already got a glimpse of her black lingerie. They had bought it together. He knew that even today she had taken care of his likes and dislikes. And he felt the urge to tear her bra apart. And eat her like he never had tasted her. She gasped as he tore open the bra. 

"I thought that you loved this bra", she said. "And hey, how am I going to go back"

"I ain't letting you go anywhere this time"

And yet again they were lost in a never ending kiss. But it did end. When her hand reached over his thing. It got harder with her hand over it. She quickly unzipped him and freed him off his jeans. It was evident from the hurry that she too was hot inside. And within another 30 seconds, they both stood naked in front of each other. He picked her up and carried her to his room.After a series of kisses, tight hugs and licking and purring he finally entered that steaming hot entrance. Their thighs made a sound as they hit against each other. The moaning grew louder. But neither of the two were ready to stop. They wanted to go on and on. The entire day. And the night was waiting for them too...

Down and under

As she descended from the stairs, her knees felt wobbly. Slowly and steadily she took one step at a time. With each step, she hoped that she wouldn't fall. Her right hand held the iron railing so tightly that small beads of perspiration formed on the inside of her hand. The corners of the railing dug into her skin which made the tip of her fingers red and it pained. But that pain was nothing as compared to what she had been carrying since ages. But did that really matter now. She had learned to live with it. All these years, she wanted to end her life and get over with it for once and for all. But she had survived. Every moment, every day, every week, every month, every year. All those days that went by. All those days that she suffered. She emerged as a new Jaya. She tried her best to conquer her own self in every way and she succeeded. But somewhere deep inside she knew that the wound had left a permanent mark and had left her crippled for her to limp the entire life. 

But she was a not one of those who would loose so easily. Her indispensable fate had taught her to fight the odd. And there she was standing on her legs with her right hand on the railing and with a crutch under her left arm, fighting to climb down the last 7 stairs left out of the total 9. That was her way of looking at things. Her way of making things look easy. Her positive attitude. And that is what made her survive the obstacles that she was destined to face in her life. 

She was born a very healthy child. She had often heard her grandmother telling her about what relatives and neighbors used to say when she was born. They used to point to her mother and say, "Look Neena. Look at your daughter. She will look like a princess when she turns into a woman". Or they would say, "This girl can become Miss Universe" and would even envy her parents and say "Mr and Mrs Sharma, I wish my daughter was as pretty as yours". Her grandmother would tell her stories of how every mother was jealous of their small, yet closely binded family. "The evil eyes took the better of you, Jaya", she would say and then would turn her head away so that Jaya couldn't see her tears. But Jaya always knew that her grandmother was weeping. She wouldn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to console that old woman who had brought her up after her parents died in a plane crash. She didn't know whether a hug would be enough for all that she had done for her after she was diagnosed to have polio. She was 4 years old then. Living alone with her dearest grandmom.  No parents to take her to school. No parents to scold her. No parents to love her. But only her grandmother who had become so important in her life that she did not feel the absence of her own parents. 

Trying her best to hurry down the stairs, Jaya felt weak. This is not how she was. Her way was different. Where had her positive attitude gone. This was not the time for her to loose the battle. She had to make it fast. She had to go to her grandmom. She had to climb down those stairs and call out to somebody for help. The phone. Thats all she needed. "How could I have been so irresponsible. How could I have left the cordless downstairs." And it was taking more than ever to climb down. But she had to hurry up. Or else it would be late. She had to do something for her grandmother. The doctor. Yes, the doctor. She wanted to call him. But the bloddy phone. She had left it downstairs. She wanted to slap herself. She couldn't imagine her life without her grandmother who was lying on her death bed counting her last few minutes and there she was stuck on the staircase unable to go on...

There I go...

That tiny smile on your face,
is making it difficult for me to leave
I wish I could hug you
one last time.
I wish I could hold you tight
and never let go
But I hate to wake you up
Coz' I don't wanna see you cry
And that would make me weak.



Honey, I am leaving now.
By the time you wake up,
I would be out of this town
In a far flung area
Out of your reach.
But you will always be on my mind
And in my heart.

I will be gone for sometime,
Forgive me for hiding this from you

I wouldn't have been able to see your tears

And so I am leaving

Without telling you.

I hope that you would wait for me

Until I return with a wedding ring.

If only I could say sorry,

for the times I betrayed you

for the times I didn't love you

But don't worry my baby

I will return

and take you with me

and we would be together again.

This post has been inspired by John Denver's 'Leaving On A Jet Plane'. Today, while taking a morning walk, I was listening to this song. And instantly I knew that I would write something similar to this. I ain't good like him but yeah, it did inspire me to write.

Ciao