Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Hard feelings

Abhishek 22nd Dec 2008, 1354 hours
Sitting silently on the sofa, he tried to put in the missing pieces. Perhaps it was all a joke. Actually, he hoped that it was a joke. Perhaps he didnt mean to say that. He himself didn't know what he wanted. "Maybe I should apologize", he thought.  "Or maybe I shouldnt." He was confused.

Sneha 22nd Dec 2008, 1402 hours
She sat on her bed with her arms wrapped around her legs which she pressed tightly against her chest. She wanted to cry. Did he really mean that. She didnt understand. He had never said that to her. Was he angry with her or was is just a joke, she wasn't sure. If he had said that in anger, then she had to find out what had made him lose his temper. And if it was a joke then why did he have to joke about something that would make her cry. She had no answer. Confused, she buried herself into her bed and wept.

Abhishek 23rd Dec 2008, 0120 hours
He could see her online. There was a red dot against her name on his chat list indicating that she was busy. He read her status message for the hundredth time in the last 10 mins. "Frustrated with my life", it screamed at him. He knew that she had written it there for him to read. He felt a strong urge to talk to her. The cursor of his laptop hovered over her name but his ego battled against his wishes. He told her to go out of his life though he didnt want that to happen. He loved her. He really did. And now he was surprised what had made him say that to her. He wanted her back. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her that he still loved her. And that he wanted to meet her. To hold her. To kiss her. But his ego stopped him then and there. No. Perhaps he would just carry on the little game for he had heard that 'Distance makes the hearts grown fonder'.

Sneha 23rd Dec 2008, 0111 hours
She could see him online. She repeated his name in her mind. Again. And again. And yet again. She continued to do so because she couldnt get him out if his mind. And thats the reason why she was online so late at night. This was so unlike her. But she wanted to talk to him. She wanted to send him a chat message. But then she stopped. Hadn't he read her status message, "Frusrated with my life". "Is he ignoring me?", she thought to herself. "He sure must have read my status. Isn't he concerned? Doesn't it bother him to see me frustrated. She stared at his name. Minutes passed. She continued staring. And when she couldnt control, she typed "Hi" on the chat window. She waited for half an hour, but he didnt reply. Nothing came from his side. She was missing him. She wanted him to write something. Anything. She wouldn't have minded if he had scolded her. But she just wished that he would write something.

Abhishek 23rd Dec 2008, 0130 hours
He beamed with joy. Yes, she was missing him. He was sure about it. Thats exactly what he wanted. He missed her too. But it was too early. He wanted to see her come running towards him. Her simple "Hi" chat message had made him happy. But he decided that he wouldnt reply. Not now. Not for the next few days. He kept waiting. He just wanted to show her that he isn't replying. He kept sitting idle just to make her feel that he is angry. But inside, he was happy.

Sneha 27th Dec 2008, 1645 hours
It had been 6 days since they had last talked to each other. The only thing that she wanted was to hear his voice. And at this hour it was next to impossible. It was her last lecture for the day. Another 15 mins and she would be free to go. She wondered what Abhishek must be doing. Since it was a Saturday, it must be an off day for him. He must be with his friends playing tennis. She quickly did some calculation in his mind. Perfect. If she rushed after her lecture, she could catch him just in time. And then they would talk. This time she grew excited. She looked forward to the evening. "Abhshek would be surprised to see me". she gigled. Finally she would see him. She wasnt sure whether he would talk to her or not but atleast they would meet. She wanted to ask a lot of questions but those questions could wait. She just wanted to see him.

Abhishek 27th Dec 2008, 1735 hours
He stopped to catch his breath. Panting hard, he was remided of the day they had jogged together till their skin turned red with heat. And he remembered when they had had wild sex in the bushes of the small park behind her house in that sultry weather. He remembered the day they made chappatis together which looked like the maps of countries yet to be discovered. He remembered a lot many things and all of them  made him realise how much he loved her. He knew she loved him too. Instantly, he decided that he would reply to her chat mesaage today. Not a day passed when she didnt call him or send him a message on chat. But he kept on ignoring her. He just wanted it to be this way. Okay, decided. He would pick up the phone next time she called. He would talk rudely but would finally give in. And then they would talk non stop about all the things that had happened in the last few days. How much he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to hear her voice. He wanted her to say, "Abhi, I love you honey." And then she would blow a kiss in her own sexy way. Suddenly his phone rang. And it was her. He jumped with joy but since he wanted to sound serious, he said rudely, "Hello, What is it?"..

Sneha 27th Dec 2008, 1710 hours
She couldn't meet him. She wasn't sure. There was a fear in her mind. What if..?? What if, he didnt talk to her. What if, he turned his back towards her. What if, he shouted at her. What if, he threw her out of his home. What if, he had some other plans. What if, he has found someone else. The last one was hard to believe but it was still a possibility since he had been acting weird. It was so unlike him to ignore her. He loved her. He never did that to her. And now with so many 'what ifs', she didnt have the courage to face him. She didnt know what to do. Silently, she turned the steering wheel in the opposite direction. Her eyes filled with tears. She closed her eys for a split second and let the tears flow. She opened her eyes and turned left towards her home. She kept driving, her eyes totally moist and her vision blurred. She was so blinded by her tears that she did not notice the truck carrying the sharp edged steel wire ropes in front of her. By the time she saw the truck, it was too late. She had already banged into the truck and the steel ropes pierced into her ribs and tore her apart.

Crowd gathered around her. Someone took hold of her phone and dialed the first number in her list.
Abhishek - Hello. What is it?
Mr X - Hello
Abhishek - (hearing a male voice) Who are you. Where is Sneha?
Mr. X - Sir, I am sorry to tell you this but the girl is dead.

And he told him what had happened.


You know what, 3 days back, I decided something. Life is short. And unpredictable too. You will never come to know what might happen. The most sensible thing to do is to avoid fights. Small fights which may turn big. You never know. So, I decided that I will live my life happily with all those around me and all those who really matter to me.

Sometimes, you may be in situation when you want to say something to someone but the circumstances may not take your side. Uncertainity may arise and you may find yourself tongue tied. It is better to avoid such a situation. I have come to realise that it is not 'just my' life. I share my life with a lot of people around me. And I have no right to play with the lives of the people who share their lives with me. So, henceforth, I will live a simple life. And this 31st day of March 2010, I have decided to leave behind all the animosity I ever carried inside me. I will not carry any hard feelings for anyone in the new financial year. It doesn't matter if it is the beginning of a financial year. But it is still a new year.


  1. shit shit shit...y y r u writing such sad and horrible stories...damm...:(

    its written beautifully thought...

    err...am i first???

  2. this was great - though the ending was really sad. :( i wanted them to talk to each other again...
    it's a really accurate representation of how we let misunderstandings grow in a relationship by not communicating or letting our ego stand in the way.
    and you're right; life really is too short to hesitate saying something we really want to. your last para has inspired me!

    p.s. just found this one error in the story (3rd para): 'He told her to go out of her life though...' think it should be 'out of HIS life'. sorry, don't mean to be critical, just thought i'd point it out so you could correct it!

    keep writing - i'm a fan of your fiction, girl!

  3. :-(

    The last thing I wanted to read today was something like this. Though you've written in brilliantly, just like yourself, but I was nauseated already.. and this hasn't helped me in any way.

    Maybe I'll read this post again when I'm in an optimistic mood.

    For now .. :-(

  4. it was sounding familiar till "steel ropes pierced into her ribs and tore her apart" ...

  5. it was awsm chanz, it held my attention all through the end..!!
    why did you kill sneha...???
    i hated that part of the story ... well maybe because my name is sneha..!!

    but it was great

  6. Ohh!!
    U made me cry Chanz....:(
    How sad was that...
    How can u write such stories?
    Sneha getting killed in the end..:(
    *sob sob*

    No cheers this tym


  7. Somehow I knew what’s there in the end…. And if I were to write something …it would have been the same…I mean the sad ending… infact I did write something…not as great as this one … but was on the similar lines…here is the link…check if you get time - http://garima82.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/sorry-i-missed-your-call/

    Good going gurl…keep it up!!! :)

  8. Very well written...even the end...was necessary to drive in the point that trivia and a big fat ego can change your destiny!

  9. Your motive is right. Your point is right... BUT WHY SUCH a sad ending?
    MY GOD!!!!

    I dunno, maybe, I was not prepared for such a drastic and sad ending..
    Well written otherwise.

  10. Hey you wrote it brilliantly! but i got this thing for happy ending in every movie or book...
    but i also agree that it was essential to prove the theme of your write up...
    looking forward to reading more such stories...


  11. @ all followers: i would like to thank everybody on chanz behalf. the credit goes to me..!!

    @chanz: cheers for the story, and a slap for this sad ending... bollywood type stories likha kar yaar. happy ending types. :P

  12. was all thru expecting this only...yaar plz give at least one story of urs a happy ending... :( :(

  13. Hey Uve improved chanz!
    u know people like stories when some instances of wat we read very well relates to ones life, and i believe this piece of urs does have that magic... :)
    looking for more frm u...

  14. @ Sid : yes, u were the forst one... and i do not have an answer to ur question.. :D

  15. @ Mehk : Thanks sweety... thats a nice compliment... and very motivating too.. :)

    btw dont worry about telling me my mistakes.. u can always do that... and I always make a note of the feedback given.. thanks :)

  16. @ Shivani : awwww... thats sad.. M feeling bad about it.. For the forst time ever, I am wishing that u had not read my post.. :(

  17. @ Atul : It had to sound familiar because anyone can relate to each and every part of the story (except the ending ofcourse)..

  18. @ Sepo : ooho... I think I know how u must be feeling now.. :( sorry.. but obviously u know, it was just a coincidence..

  19. @ Nipun : LOL @ no cheers this time.. hehee... glad that my story made someone cry.. :D

  20. @ Nalini : exactly ma point.. :)

  21. @ Garima : Frankly I didnt want to kill sneha... But sometimes, in order to prove your point, u need to have such endings..

    I havent read your story till now bt I soon will

  22. @ Neha : Geez, Thanks... And thanks for agreeing that it was necessary..

  23. @ Sakshi : well, every story does not have ahappy ending. If it had been a happy ending then the point wouldnt have been put across the way it was intended to.. It was necessary here..

  24. @ Riti : Lol... I will riti.. someday, sometime.. for sure.. :)

  25. @ease : wah beta.. har post ka credit tum le lete ho... yeh sahi hai.. x-(

  26. @ease : wah beta.. har post ka credit tum le lete ho... yeh sahi hai.. x-(

  27. @ readers dias : Wow.. tahts quite a compliment... thanks for saying that...

  28. You have said soo much with such simple words... What you showed is priceless! Brilliant!

  29. hey dear...first of all...sorry for being late than ever...in your comment box...the job has made me pre-occupied upto a huge extent actually..!!
    coming to the post.....it shivered me inside out...what a post....what explanation of thoughts and emotions...hats off...!!!
    and i hope people read it and follow the "Essence of life" as well...!!!
    "happy new financial year.. :D "